I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
