It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize