I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
this is an emotional support booty call
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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