His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
