I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
