I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
