Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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