how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
