they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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