Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
