drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
