Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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