Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass