Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
