Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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