and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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