It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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