Umm I'm too high to move.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
