You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
