I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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