I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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