this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
