Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
