thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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