I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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