well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
