It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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