I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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