My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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