The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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