So drunk its hurt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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