Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
