Whod you bang
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
