Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
