Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
