I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Send help, water and tortillas.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
