i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
