He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just googled if crying burns calories
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
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