We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize