and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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