I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
