NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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