I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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