You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
