At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize