Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
