This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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