What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
