So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
