Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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