He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
