Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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