That's intense
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
