JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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