R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who did Billy Mays play for?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
