he looks like a really good dad on facebook
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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