Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
