i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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