Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
