If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
