you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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