proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
