I'm so fucking centered right now
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
