1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
